I feel like I've been playing catch up for the past few months. All-day sickness has left me immobile on the couch... with no motivation to do ANYTHING at all. I just keep thinking -- I'll get through this phase... one day -- I won't be pregnant and sick forever (I hope)...
I had a few hours to myself on Thursday and we have a pregnancy clinic that gives out free ultrasounds. I stopped by... I went to see my baby -- I never realized it would be such a blessing. The clinic is run by Christians and I was able to be honest and not have someone tell me that "God knew" or "this is God's plan". I didn't realize how much of a burden I was carrying with this pregnancy until the tears started to pour down my cheeks... I cried a lot. I hadn't "planned" this, I wasn't ready for the + sign on the pregnancy test... I didn't want to be pregnant. In fact I was ready for a bit of freedom. Our plan was to put both kids in school this fall and I would get a job at a coffee shop (something I've ALWAYS wanted to do)... We finally are in a rhythm where my life is more free... I can leave the kiddos and they do fine.... I can sleep in!!!!!! I don't have snot, poop, or throw up all over me all the time... there was light at the end of the "baby/toddler chaos" tunnel. It has been a process for me...
The little baby played the whole time during the ultrasound... it's little feet kicked back and forth in the womb... It has plenty of room right now -- I whispered, "kick little one, kick... enjoy all that room while you have it!!!" God does have a plan for this little miracle... who knows what it will be.
We haven't been "doing" a whole lot... the kiddos have been watching too many movies -- something I'm not proud of and I hate, but I can only play so many games of Candy Land/Go Fish and read so many library books from the couch. Today we have a "screen band"... I told them they have to "play"... They aren't too happy... there will be a big mess... and it may stay like that for awhile... This baby is teaching me to let go even more... a house has been dirtier... the laundry pile has been larger, our meals have been super unhealthy (gasp... frozen dinners, anything microwavable or out of a can), the dishes never get done... I hate it, but I can't without throwing up or being super sick... so what do you do?
But in the midst of not doing anything.... we managed to hit up Home Depot for their kid workshop... we can't miss that.
We built bird houses... I'm amazed at how good my kiddos are getting at building things.
Can't wait to hang these colorful houses up...
Micah needs a "father/husband of the Year" award. He works 3 different jobs to provide for us... and then comes home to do dishes and vacuum. A friend came over Friday and did the 3 days worth of dishes in the sink... I told her she was a good friend, she smiled and said, "I'm giving Micah the night off!" So true. Yesterday, Micah and the kiddos made chocolate chip cookies. It was funny to listen to the dialogue from the couch. When they had all the ingredients in the mixer -- Micah switched on the mixer, but Ethan knocked his hand and it switched to the highest gear.... ingredients went ALL OVER! If you can see, Eden has a whole egg on her sweater!!! I just laughed and told them I wouldn't help clean up until I got a picture... this is what I got... I love it! I had to immediately take Eden to the bath -- she had egg and flour all through her hair too...
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Temps have been in the negative digits lately.... so we bring our snow inside... |
Our life is crazy right now... We spend a lot of days in PJ's... Eden has regressed back to diapers... again... But I guess we are surviving -- trying to catch up... in all reality -- it is all good!