The other night I had a dream that still haunts me. I was trying to convince someone why living a life dependent on God is really a good thing! In the dream they were telling me how wrong I was to not live "practically" to have a good job that provided security. They were telling me how foolish we were being involved in ministry (which doesn't pay very much) and that God doesn't help those who don't help themselves. I remember pleading with them to see that a life that doesn't acknowledge our dependence on God is a wasted one! No matter whether you recognize it or not we NEED God. I woke up praying that God would give me the courage to live a life where we HAVE to see Him work... where we NEED Him to work.
I remember back when Micah and I first got married. We were poor! We slept on the floor the first 8 months of marriage until we were able to buy a bed. We had a food budget of $50 a month and yet we were able to finish college, pay rent and have enough food. It doesn't make sense how it all worked out, but it did. God provided and I have list after list of how He did!
When we first talked about moving to Bozeman... I felt fear! How are we going to make ends meet? How are we going to afford to live on what Micah was going to make. It didn't add up... it seemed foolish. I didn't want to go and leave my comfort. Yet I clung onto the promise that God would go BEFORE us and WITH us.
He would provide!
This past weekend I saw God's provision. Ethan has gone through a growth spurt and he is running out of clothes that fit. I have been praying that God would provide the clothes we need to clothe him! This weekend I went to a clothing exchange at a local church. All the clothing was free... I found some shirts for him. I was so thankful! This is a tangible expression of God's love... His way of taking care of us. I am so thankful that I have a God who KNOWS me... and I have really begun to see how He may not always provide what I want, but He ALWAYS provides what we NEED - I want to be thankful and grateful for the things He provides! I have lots of examples like this... and I want to share them all because by retelling -
I am remembering God's faithfulness!
"Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say,
'Who is the LORD?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God."